Both myself and my surroundings!
Eyy!!! That was an exaggeration! I’ll still be around!
Just in a slightly different version.
Tomorrow, Friday, I turn to be – a retiree!
I leave some things behind me (yippiiieeee) and I’ll be freeee. (FAS3 och FK) yiipppiiieeee; ).
I’ll keep others – will f.ex. contuinue to make posters, folders and so on for the church;
and I intend to renew myself in different ways. Write more, and try to mingle with other people more.
Wouldn’t mind meeting new friends as well. Would LOVE to meet new friends as well!
And tomorrow there will be ”Coffee-time for Ninna” at the ‘work-office’ at 10 AM.
Okay! I’ll live through that!
The day before yesterday the Pastor grinned at me. The biggest smile ever!
”I had in mind”, he said. ”to drive home to you at 6 AM with my trumpet, and then stand outside playing ‘Happy Birthday’ for you…”
I gasped but there was no time for me to answer since he went on…
”… but I won’t, since you’re having farewell-coffe over there at 9.30.” He nodded his head a bit backwards.
‘Over there’ is that ‘work-place’ of mine which I seldom visit since I do my pieces of work at church. Sitting in the Cafeteria! I absolutely prefer to be in church. In the cafeteria. With my Mac. Doing my things. In peace and quiet. And with friends…
My chin dropped halfway down to my knees.
”Am I? Then you know more than I! S hinted something at the sermon this Sunday. He said, kind of incidentally, that they had talked about it at the last boardmeeting, and asked if I had been invited. No, I answered. Haven’t heard anything! But later on I didn’t know what to think about it. Was I forgotten or was I forgotten?”
I had thought about this earlier. Any other birthday I could have offered coffee and cake or something. But not this birthday! This birthday is too big, to important!
It’s my day!
And the Central Person of this event – ME – wasn’t invited!!!
Before that afternoon had been much older, the Pastor sent mail to 5 of the board-commisioners who also are mentors for us involved. A very simple mail. Probably in a humorous tone. Something like: ”You have invited Ninna as well, havn’t you?”
I cried that evening and couldn’t fall asleep. Felt so forgotten and left outside all alone!
The next day, yesterday, R called me. At first he sounded like he didn’t know what to say to me. Then he invited me for coffee and cake at 10 AM on friday. And asked me what I could eat since I don’t eat neither wheat nor dairies. No cookies intended!!
I suggested some ate-able things, and then – after all: we are friends, my best friend – now we could talk!
I told him my point of view, and he told about what had happened ‘over there’. That is – – – what had NOT happen! Of course it was a logistical problem (as usual ‘over there’), and I understood at once it had to do with P. When people are involved it’s always P. She can’t handle people! She don’t understand people! And she’s as false as a mushroom trying to be a snail, believing all it takes is the appearances – butter, garlic, salt and a hot oven.
Un escargot – you know…
So tomorrow I’m not having tea, but coffee at that place ‘over there’, and ‘everyone’ is coming (I figure), and it will be soooo fun!!!
Nope! I don’t think it will be fun at all, but I’ll cope!
And if we are 18-20 persons then, I really really like 5-6-10-11-12… something; really like 3-4, feel neutral with 2-3, feel a bit uneasy with 2… and so the last one… L’Escargot…
Okay! There is actually only P I hope I’ll never see again for the rest of my life. I know I shouldn’t feel och think that way, it isn’t nice! But I do! And during this last year, since she started working ‘over there’, I’m not the only one she’s made burst into tears, frustration or anger… and flee from that place in one way or another…
(so it’s not me…)