Minnen dyker upp när man tittar igenom sina gamla foton. De behöver inte vara särskilt gamla för den sakens skull.
Och man ser på dem och tänker, varför har jag inte kvar det där längre? Eller… Varför flyttade jag?
Men allt försvinner – förr eller senare – och det vore idiotiskt att binda sig vid materiella ting. För det hindrar en att gå vidare. Och även om man ibland skulle gå fel – kan det i slutändan ändå visa sig vara rätt.
Memories don’t have to be old to awake nostalgic feelings. Why did I get rid of that, those, them… ? Why did I move!
But nothing lasts forever. Shouldn’t. That would create hinder to further development.
At that time, just four years ago when I took this particular photo, I didn’t make any posters, images, leaflets, flyers or any other visual creations. I had never even tried to edit any of my photos into colorful experiments. Well, almost nothing af that sort, anyway. I occasionally took some photos. And out of stupidity and ignorance destroyed most of them.
And I din’t work on my novel, it – those, I have more than one, were lying unseen in a folder awaiting me to ”wake up” again. I wrote lots and lots between 2006 and 2011, not quite as much after that. Until recently. Now I write at least something almost every day. Sometimes for several hours.
I have a different life now. Better? Maybe. In many ways I would say so. But better or not isn’t the issue. The important thing is, that it’s different. And it certainly is! I’m not stuck in the past!
Who could anyway? There’s continuously a new ”Now” to live in. A new second! So why linger on past ones!
In spring 2010 I started my first wordpress-blog. I called myself ”Coffee” and wrote solely in Swedish. No pictures. It was during this period I got the diagnos ADHD, but not only that occurred. I remember writing a lot in that blog for about 1,5 -2 years, and I wrote a lot. About life, memories from childhood, about relations, daily work-experiences. But maybe most of all how it was to go through this psychological examination, Tests, Tests, Tests, as well as the hours and days I spent at this ”work” I had to go to.
And , bu the way, I really wrote well…
That blog doesn’t exist any longer, but I have all my writings from that time. Think it’s about time to re-read what I wrote way back then.
Now now… Thats nostalgia.
Och för er svensktalande vänner, jag säger bara så här: AF och Fas3. Och något som påstås ska vara rehabilitering. Men just då, ett par perioder dels under 2010, dels nåt år senare, hade jag det bra, trivdes och trodde faktiskt på framtiden.
Framtiden kom nu, för lite drygt ett halvår sedan. Det var på tiden, skulle man kunna säga.